I have always wondered why are these HRs required in companies. But now I understand, they are there to entertain ppl. They are like the jokers in a circus, comedians in a movie, item song in a serious thriller movie, cheerleaders in IPL.
They make simple things complicated. They make jargons and highly complicated (very difficult to spell out and remember) words. They develop an accent which is so artificial and sick to hear. I remember an HR who used to spell associates as ash o siates. Everytime he used to start using this word I used to wonder whether he is going to say "aish warya". I wonder how he would have told his friends - "Dont kick my ass (ash). Pls. Dont kick my ash".
I know this post is not as punchy as my previous posts because it is not meant to be...
This is how they create values for their organisation. They take out their moral science text book of 6th std. Why only 6th std?? Because they flunked in 6th std in moral science. Ya so they take out their 6th std text book and play book cricket with that. They do this 5 times. They find the most incomprehensible word from each page and make it the values of their organisation. After 2 years of no work, they feel like doing something. Then they create 2 things - vision and mission statements.
They ask their sons and daughters to write an essay abt their school or cricket team in less than 60 words. They use the same thing as vision and mission statements.
Ever wondered how lady HRs have such silky hairs? Because they dont have to think = no scratching heads.
This is how a HRs day goes
10 AM: Come to office. Sign attendance.
10:02 AM : Go to loo. Apply so much perfume that you wonder whether it is a loo or marriage hall.
10:05 : Go to loo again. Apply lipstick (both guys and girls)
10:10 : Check mails. They get only spams. So check some exciting mails in spams. Check forwards and forward forwards using a stylish email signature.
10:30: Go for coffee.
10:45: Re apply lipstick
10:50: Go smoke outsike campus (guys). Ramp walk on the walk way (girls)
11:15: Re apply lipstick (guys).
11:30: Read filmfare (girls). Read cosmopolitan (guys).
1:00: Go for lunch
2:00:Go for a walk
2:30: Have some juice
3:00: Check spam mails
3:30: Search high fundu words from 6th std moral science text books
4:30: Go for another smoke or ramp walk.
05:00: Go to loo and apply lipstick.
5:05: Go home